A normal family usually consists of father, mother, and some children. It should be big support that gives much contribution toward the growth of children. It is the first environment that would form the character for the children. A family is also considered as a social organization. That is why there is also some Types of Family in Indonesia that differ from one to another. However, here we are going to expand the family customs in Indonesia.
- Living together with the parents
For Indonesians, it is normal for them who haven’t married to live with the parent. That usually happens when the condition is not forced to migrate and work in the out of town. Well, for people abroad this might be quite strange, because in general those who are considered adult (the early twenties) will feel ashamed and it is appropriate to live in their own home to live independently, whether married or not. However, it would be different in Indonesia.
- All family members have the different last names
Don’t be quite surprised when you see all of the family members has the different last name. It is because some cultures in Indonesia don’t give the surname for their children. It is quite different in several regions of Indonesia that don’t have this kind of culture. As the example are Javanese or Sundanese. Those tribes don’t apply any surname for their children.
Some people think almost all cultures always include the surname on their children, because the clan can have a great influence for the children. However, there is a famous tribe that gives the surname for the family, it is Batak tribe. In Indonesia, surname usually known as “marga”.
- At least once a year, big family gathering is a must
Every family has their own Indonesian Family Values. It has been a custom that there must be a big family gathering in every year. It is famous with “arisan keluarga”. Usually, the fit time for family gathering is when the big day of religion such as Eid Mubarak. If not, it would happen spontaneously while one of family member has an event such as: conduct a wedding, born new a baby, or the remembrance of the death. All the family from various generations would gather in that several certain times to build the good relations each other.
- Mudik in every Eid Mubarak
Several days before Eid Mubarak, the people that migrate to another city or country would be back to their hometown in Indonesia. It becomes a mandatory custom for almost everyone in Indonesia. If you are popular with the word of “mudik” it is actually the custom of going home before Eid Mubarak.
Many people have mudik to reunite with their big family. While the Eid Mubarak is the fit time to apologize each other, they think that it is a must for them to meet their parents who live at the hometown. Not only mudik, they would also give some Eid Mubarak parcels to their parents. (Read also: Family Traditions in Indonesia)
- The thanksgiving party for the son’s circumcision
Circumcision is the process of cutting the vital tool for the sons in average of 1-13 years old. It is actually the adoption of the Islamic custom that becomes popular since Islam is the most embraced religion in Indonesia. While doing a circumcision for their son, usually the parents would conduct a thanksgiving party. The thanksgiving party sometimes held like a wedding party where all the relations and parents’ family are invited. After the party, the son who is circumcised would accept some gifts and money from others.
- Wife handles the housework
It has been a custom that the housework is done by a wife. A mother and a wife must be able to cook. Besides, a mother in a family has to rear the children. She takes care all of the children needs and the husband. Most of family in Indonesia has the patrilineal pattern. That is why the position of the wife must be lower than the man. The man as the head family has to work to fulfill the family needs.
7. Sending the children to the hometown for busy parents
Some busy parents in Indonesia sometimes choose to live in distance with their son or daughter. Some of them even don’t rent a nanny to take care their children. They choose to send their children to the hometown and being reared by their parents. It means, the children are reared by the grandparents. It is because they think that this is the effective way to handle their children since they are busy to work.
If the parents have the leisure time, they would back to hometown to see the children. Actually, this kind of custom is not good for the growth of children. The best place for children to grow is their own family.
- Some generations of a family living at the same home
Some of family has this kind of custom. At a house there would be more than a family from various generations. They live together for a reason, as the example to carry out a family business. If not, it has been already a tradition of the family. A big family with several generations could live harmoniously although some conflicts happen sometimes. However, this kind of family custom is no longer used by the modern family. The son or daughter that has been married would choose to live separately from their parents.
- Having a simple picnic while holiday
In the weekend or long holiday, Indonesian family would typically spend a family time by having picnic or watching film at the cinema. This is a new custom that born since the millennial era. Indonesians family start to think that refreshment is important as a gift of their work for weekdays. They could also give more times for the children.
If not, they would just spend time together at the garden or park then enjoying some foods together. So, don’t be surprised if most of the tourism in Indonesia would be really full in weekend. (Read also: Importance of Tourism in Indonesia)
10. Spending millions of money while conducting a wedding
In Indonesia, marriage is considered as the big event that might happen once in a life. That is why the wedding party for almost of Indonesians would be conducted glamorously. Some of them even work and save much money for many years just for preparing the great wedding party. The wedding party usually conducted at home or at a hall. Then the host of party would open donation, so the people who attend the party should give money to the host of party as a gift.
Those are the family customs in Indonesia. Because Indonesians are typically like to socialite each other, they would try to build a harmonious family. That is why, the number of divorce in Indonesia categorized as low compared to other countries. It is a nice idea if you want to build a family in Indonesia.