20 Common Rules for Marriage in Indonesia

Almost 99% Indonesian people will get married in the age of 19 until 20 years old, many Indonesian people decided to marriage although they are still young and have opportunity to get more benefit career. There some factors that make some younger want to marriage, like they already have relationship for many years, their parents want them to marriage soon and etc.

However in the past time, the age of marriage people is around 10 until 12. It can be in the area of children. They should study in the elementary school, but their parent don’t have enough money and then they marriage soon. In the modern era, many people want to get their dream or willingness firstly, and then marriage. Especially for men, mostly they decided to marriage in 28 years old.

Furthermore for women, mostly in 23 years old they will marriage. The rule of marriage in every country is different, especially in Indonesia that have variant culture and ethnics. This article will explore about the marriage rules, there are 20 rules for marriage that should be known by all people that want to marriage in Indonesia, those are:

1. Completing Some Documents

For you that want to marriage in Indonesia, you should know about the administration. You will get the marriage letter after marriage. For get this letter, you should go to office (KUA) and bring some documents such as the letter from neighborhood association (RT/RW) where you stay, residence identification card (KTP), family card (KK).

2. Marriage Partner may not Meet Each Other

This is kind of tradition in Javanese for marriage partner. In seven days until the marriage day, man and woman that will marriage cannot meet each other. They only stay in their home. Some of them will meet each other when the party marriage begin, but the other tradition say they can meet when the marriage party finish.

3. Having Cost for Marriage

People that want to marriage should pay for some money to the government office related to marriage (KUA). If the marriage activity happen in the KUA, there is free cost. But, if the marriage activity happen in the outside of KUA such as in the house, mosque or crouch, you should pay around 600.000 (USD 46). That amount of money will go into country money supply.

4. Picture Background for Marriage Book

There is a regulation for picture background in the marriage book. Give the best photo with size 2×3 and 3×4. Every size is six sheets with the blue picture background. If you already have red picture background, you cannot use it. If all document complete with the photos, you can ask to village officer for letter N1, N2, N3.

5. The Age Minimally for Marriage

In Indonesia, there is a limitation of age for marriage. Nowadays, 18 years old is the minimum age for marriage. That’s the new regulation. In the 18 years old, people will be more good for thinking something. They are not in the child again, so 18 years old is the good regulation for minimally age of marriage. So, people can finish their senior high school firstly and then they can married in the 118 years old.

6. Certificate of No Impediment to Marriage

For the foreigner, there is a regulation to marriage in Indonesia. they should have Certificate of No Impediment. The foreigner should make appointment in one work day with embassy official for sign in an application form, having a valid passport, and provide the photo. If all that rules are complete, you can wait until the certificate done.

7. Wedding Places

For Islamic wedding are performs in the KUA. And for the other religion (Cristian, Budha, Hindu etc), in the Catatan Sipil. So, the marriage of religion like Cristian, Budha, Hindu etc. It must be registered in the Catatan Sipil and for Islam in the KUA. For the wedding places is free to choose in the house, garden or building. It is depend on the how many the guest that invite to wedding party.

8. The Marriage Couple should be in The Same Religion

Mostly a wedding in Indonesia happens for same religion. If the man is Cristian, the woman is also Cristian. However, there is some news or case for artist with different religion will marriage in the other country. So, they are not marriage in Indonesia. If the religion are not same, one of them must convert to the other religion. This is the most problem that almost happen for some couple in different religion.

9. Sharing The Party with Neighbors

In Indonesia, there will be many people in a house. They are happy together for a marriage party. They are included neighbor, uncle, aunt, far away family. Indonesian people always share the happiness with others if there is marriage party. If they cannot make a big party, they will give little bit food or snack to share with neighbor.

10. Engagement Process

Actually in every country happen this process, but they way is different in Indonesia. The family of woman will come to other with bring some packed. It can be food, dress, until money. The packed give to man family as the gift. And then the other (man family) is also go to woman family with same habitual (bring packed for woman family) in a certain time or one month from wedding time.

11. Ceremonial Meal after Build a Tend

In all wedding party needs some party tools such as tend. In some place in Indonesia, there is a ceremonial meal after a tend build in front of house. The meal share with people that build the tend and also neighbor. Some people believe that this ceremonial makes the tend will stand up and never broken.

12. Pendak Pasar

Pendak Pasar is kind of ceremony after wedding. Pendak Pasar happen in three until seven days after wedding. The neighbor will invite to come in your home, and then pray together for the marriage couple. The last is eat together the rice with Javanese side dishes.

13. Sungkeman Process

In some area of Indonesia, there is a rule called as Sungkeman process. This process happen in the middle of wedding. Father and mother sit in the chair, and then the marriage couple sit in the floor (under father and mother), they kiss the hand of parents. This moment is touchable in the wedding.

14. Siraman

Siraman is the rule before wedding. Siraman means that a ceremony of bathing a bride prior to the wedding. A bride sit on the chair, she/he wear Javanese clothes covered with jasmine. And then some people on by one will pour a water that already mx with variant flower.

15. Giving Brideprice

Brideprice is the main gift from the bridal man to bridal woman. In this case, the brideprice that give depends on the culture. Generally, the brideprice included gold, and some money. Sometimes, the bridal want to the brideprice is money that represents the total date of wedding. For example, 19.12.2017, it can be 19.122.017 rupiahs and the money will take on the frame.

16. Coming to Home Each Other

This rule is almost same with engagement process. Firstly the woman family come to man’s house (in the wedding time). And tomorrow the man family will come to woman’s house. Some people that have enough money will make two wedding party in woman’s house and man’s house.

17. Asking for the Candidate Couple

This is the first rules actually for you that want to marriage in Indonesia. if you want to get married with a woman, you and your parents should come to your woman. It is the process to ask the woman to be your bridal. This is important process because it determines, she want or not. This process is often happen although the marriage couple does not know each other.

18. Using Young Coconut Leaf

This is part of tradition in the some area in Indonesia. when there is a wedding party, there is a yellow coconut leaf as the ornament. Sometimes, this kind of leaf stand in front of the house. That’s the sign of there is a party wedding in that house. So, some guest that do not know your house will recognize based on the young coconut leaf in front of your house.

19. Giving Money Contribution

There is a rule or culture in Indonesia that every guest come to a wedding party should give the bridal some money. Usually, the many put on the envelope and the guest will write the name on the envelope. The money total is variant, it depends on the guest. That rules is always happen in the village. However some wedding party are not apply this rule. Before they are marriage, they give announcement on the invitation to not accept any contribution.

20. Arak – Arakan

This rule is almost disappears in the society. Some people feels that this process is complicated. When a man family that go to woman’s house to bridal ceremony, they can go to by a two-wheeled buggy called as Kereta Kencana. So, all people around the street can look at the man family. The horse will decorated as beautiful as he can. However, to make it practice the Arak-Arakan will use car as the transportation.

Finally, those are complete explanation about how many rules for Marriage in Indonesia that you must obeyed if you want to get married in Indonesia.